Contusion

  Last night, i bought a pair of new earphone, the earbud one! So nice to listen to good music. Hey, even the worst music sounds better. After i finished all the freaky assignments i laid down on my bed, music time! Release all the miserable kinda thing. The first thing on my principle during listening to music, i HAte when somebody interrupts and asking questions. He switched on the light, it's okay i don't mind as I was not about to sleep yet. I looked at him,  he said something and laughed. I don't know what he is talking about. I didn't heard a thing. I just smiled then "haha".  I know he was talking to me..but i have no feeling to hear and listen. As usual from him. Pillow talk..bhahahaa, but if i jump in to his conversation, even until morning the topic is more than enough! I had it and i don't wanna have it anymore. Plus, almost all of the topic..was not interesting,huhu Letihla la nak layan..;( I just want to have my time alone in my world for a while, being myself..;p Listen to the lyrics and trying to understand what's the song is about. My habit, one of my hobby to kill the time while getting to sleep. I opened my eyes, then he looked at me and yelled. " appa ko denga tak?" i paused the song, Haa? "Oh kau tak denga tak de apalah.." He turned back and then went out from of the room. Aiyoo..he looked upset... What have i done..? Aiyooo33~ =( I don't know, guilty maybe. What type of friend i am. At least i should tell him i wanna have my time alone. Alamak.. kecik haty pulak.. rasa cam jahat gila jer. Adoolaaa..

Today he went home, and just me alone in this room. Hmm, not lonely. But just the feeling of appreciate him as a friend. When he is not around i realize how is the sense of "nakama". Maybe instead of couldn't be a good brother, i couldn't be a good type of partner, roommate and friend.


out

Friends

Friends, i love to be friends of everyone. No matter who they are. Im not saying that i'm friendly and a good friend but, if there is existence of humor that's good enough. However there are problems if we be friend with everybody. Here they have their own clan,group or so-called-gang maybe. I have no problems with all of them except when we were  hanging around together, there will be such unpleasant kind of word, umm..how should i put "mengumpat"? When what of their words is about the person I know, they were all laughing. I just being silent and quiet. Yeah, some of what they've said were true. But, hey..they are still our friends afterall. Dont they feel nothing? Because they act kind in front but behind..? Then when i hang with other so-called-gang, i felt guilty. Like "talam dua muka". Live to be a lone wolf is better. No such trouble. 

Inspirasi

   Tadi saya baru saja baca blog awak. Dulu masa mula-mula kita isi borang IPTA kita dah ikrar nak ambil asasi undang-undang sama-sama kan.. Bila keputusan dah keluar semua berjaya dapat tawaran Asasi Undang-Undang. Bezanya, awak dapat yang KPTM punya. Terpisah kat sini, tapi semangat nak bersaing tu tetap ada. Dari dulu saya selalu kejar awak. Hahaha... saya terpaksa terima, saya masih tak mampu nak berdiri sama aras dengan awak. Walau sejauh mana pun saya pergi, saya masih tak mampu nak kejar awak. Awak selalu selangkah di hadapan saya. Tapi itu bukan bermakna saya akan berputus asa walaupun ada juga rasa letih wujud dalam hati saya. Awak ialah aspirasi saya dan mengatasi awak adala inspirasi saya. Selagi saya belum mati selagi tu saya takkan mengalah. Dah lama tak jumpa kan. Bila baca blog awak je saya tau khabar awak. Minggu ni, rasa tak ada semangat nak belajar tu dah datang balik.. Semester ni saya kena dapat  3.6 baru boleh sambung BLS. MUET? saya xdapat capai band 4.Besar kemungkinan saya tak mampu nak capai target tu memandangkan syllabus sem ni agak susah nak cope. Satu jew..Economy, saya tak tahu apa-apa.. Tapi bila baca blog awak, semangat tu datang balik. Saya tak nak kalah dengan awak. Saya maybe xmampu nak sambung BLS habis semester ni, itu yang saya nampak. Tapi still ada jalan lain nak pergi ke BLS. Saya kena amek Science Admin lepas ni. Masa jer yang menjadi persoalan. Tapi saya tak nak ambil kira semua tu selagi saya boleh kejar awak dan merealitikan aspirasi saya.