A Lone Wolf Does'nt Lead

Its my pleasure to hear advices from people, i'll listen and ill absorb the essence which suit me. But it's such an annoying thing if people told me what to do. I have my own way on doing things. I'm not saying that i'm good enough in everything..NO, i just prefer to learn something by myself,making mistakes. If there is something i really don't know how to manage, i'll ask then. I have my own reason why i choose to live as a lone wolf. The past, the history of me build the lone wolf's character inside. When people love, close to others, they will become weaker. Maybe, there is nothing to be ashamed of, the weakness of loving people will courage us to be truly stronger. But i'm not that kind of person. The past told me everything in front of  this eyes. That's why I rather do things on my own, i rather to be independent. I don't want to be a burden to others. Not anymore.. A lone wolf does'nt lead and be leaded.

SERABUT

Minggu ni minggu tension, dan aku tak tahu kenapa..bila aku tension aku rasa macam nak marah orang.kadang2 rasa serabut juga dikelilingi ngn pelbagai kesesakan dunia ni.Maybe sebab assignment aku xsiap lagi..tak..sebenarnya aku ada banyak sngat hal yang perlu ak buat tapi ak xpunya masa yang cukup utk semua benda tu... Macam2..sampaikan ak hilang panduan nak arrange cmner. Hidup aku bole dikatakan xkonsisten sekarang. SERABUT!! ak rasa nak bersendirian sangat2,sebab aku xnak lepaskan tension aku kat org lain. erm,maksud ak, ak xnak wat org lain kecil hati contoh bila ada orang sapa aku..aku tgh wat kije n xbagi reaksi apa2.. Kalau boleh nak sangat duk sorang2 untuk seketika waktu..silent,peace,relax but humor..kadang2 manusia pun perlu masa utk bersendirian nak settle masalah sendiri. Tapi  masa mcm ni lah masalah pula lain timbul walaupun hal tu perkara yang remeh temeh je. huuuu~ take a deep breath..and hooooo~


lega la juga ckit..


tch~ntah apa-apa..=p


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awak nak apa?

Pukul 230ptg ak turun pergi kampung nelayan sorang diri nak cari country.. Whuaaaa~penat giler owh jalan kaki.hari ni paling penat,nanti pukul 430 da kena gerak sebab bas pkul 5. Alang2 sampai sana makan skali lah. Mahal,tapi sedap..;) xkesah.. "brape kak?" awak makan ap? "emm..ayam goreng,sayur rebung dgn teh o ais". Sumer skali 5ringgit jew dik.. Err..bg ak mahal la jgk..tp xper,ak suka sayur rebung dia..;DD On the way balik jumpa jerul dgn epul kat arked..Teman diorag mkn jap..bla,bla,bla,pot,pet, habis makan balik..hahahaha. Dah nak sampai kampus selisih pulak sha ryza ngn gonjol.. "appa teman ak pegi nelayan jap..ak nak beli country ar.." Aku tengok jam ohh sempat lagi."boleh~jom!" pusing balik.. Whoaaa~saya penat..tapi xpe33 kawan punya pasal saya rela;)) bukan selalu. Nanti dah nak balik lol...pendekkan cerita,tepat jam 430 ak balik kampus lepas teman sha. Alamak..da lewat ni.Jalan kaki owh p terminal..lau jln xsibuk lam 10minit da sampai..masuk bilik jer baru nak pack barang.rushing!!turun bawah ak jumpa junior sorang.. Memang menyakitkan hati..muka dahla xhensem..HAHA xdelah gurau saja. Muka ak xkenal pun tiba2 jew tegur aku.. Bro nak pegi mana? ringkas aku jawab "balik" hah~?balik~?? hahahaha..!! ehh? entah apa sebab dia gelak.. dia ingat aku balik sebab homesick kot..tapi walau apa pun sebab dia..cara dia menyakitkan hati aku..kalau ikutkan hati nak jer ak sepak muka dia. Dahla tanya kurang ajar mcm tu. Tapi ak sedar ak dah xbyak masa nk ajar budak ni.so sabar jerlah..junior xleh layan sgat...Misi ak kena kejar bas! jam da 4.45.. Mega xsampai lagi..tapi tengok jalan jem td mmg bas xsampai lgnyer lah terminal. So, ak jlan rilek je..sampai depan restoran cina ak nak lintas jalan.. Then ada lah kereta gen2 sebuah masa tu..bawa slow jew sebelah aku sambil tekan2 minyak..perempuan yang bawa.sebelah pn ad sorang pmpuan. Tgk cam lawa..lam lingkungan 21-25. Tapi duduk cam budak kecik. Alar..kepala atas dashboard tuh...aku xperasan lagi..Tapi 2 3kali tgk ak baru perasan dia tengok arah aku sambil senyum2..yang bawak kereta tu plak tekan2 minyak..broomm3~!!.(nak culik aku kew?wey aku bukan anak orang kaya la..)

aku terus jew jalan cam biasa..ak buat2 tgk blakang mana tau dia tgk org lain kew..tapi mana ada org lain selain aku kat situ.sampailah kat stesen minyak shell dia bawak slow,dia brenti..cuak tu mmg cuak sebab pmpuan yg sbelah kiri tu tgk belakang..dia lambai panggil2 aku..haih..pompuan ni nak apa.. Kalau nk tnya jalan asal xtanya dari tadi pdahal da lalu sebelah aku.. kalau tengok dari gaya diorang bukan cam sesat jalan.Nasib baik ad kereta depan nak lalu so dia terpaksa gerak depan.. Last2 dia masuk kat stesen minyak..aku jalan depan stesen tu nampk kete tu nak isi minyak.aku tenung pompuan tu.. Dua-dua senyum sambil lambai tangan.Agak gedik kalau tgk dari gaya camtu.. OK,mmg sah dia tgk aku..tapi ak xfhm tujuan ap n aku xberminat nak tau. Aku xnak fikir yang bukan2.. aku senyum,lambai balik then trus lintas..

melawan arus

"ak xfaham mengapa..ak cuba nak lari jauh dari dia.tapi bila ak rasa dah lari cukup jauh dari dia,ak berhenti dan berpaling ke belakang..tapi rupa2nya..." kelakar bila dgar ayat ni..dari blog seseorg yg baru ak baca td..

kita mengalami benda yg sama kn..hmm, kat sini n saya ad sorg lecturer nama dia madam shatrah.time kelas die saya suke tgk dia buat lawak even xsemua lawak dia kelakar sebenarnya.tapi perangai dia,reaksi dia mengingatkan

awak pada saya.masa first time saya jmpa awk cam tu la jgk prangai awk.ala2 tomboy tp sekarang baru nampak feminin.. Haha, muka awak pn sikit2 ad dekat2 nak sama.. Tapi awak lagi lawa lah kut.. Urm xtaulah..saya xrasa sedih pn bila ingat balik semua ni..tapi setiap kali saya masuk kelas lcturer ni,memang banyak kali saya tersenyum.. Betul,jarang jmpa 2org berbeza tapi personaliti hampir sama.;)  Padahal da banyak kali kita gaduh kan sbelum ni..bila tyme cuti camni lah baru baik.. Hahah ermm,minggu ni saya nak balik umah. Abah n mak saya suh balik.. Akhirnya...buah durian da luruh...whuaaa~(sebab durian la mak bagi balik..)nak jumpa geng2 yunan,nak jumpa awak..khalilah..hawa..dalilah..:) Saya dah sedar sekarang, saya dah mampu melihat sekarang. Benda yang dah lepas tu lepas lah..okei BFF..;)




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xyh balik

ak:hello..askum..mak esk smpai ahd ni xdop kelas,igt nak blik ar..

mak:hah?dh nk blik watpe plop..bru 1mggu duk dinun..

aku:alarhh..org bosang ar duk cni eah, adop bnde nk wat..cm org giler rse..

mak:sape lg geng2 mg hop blik ramai ke..?

aku:err ad ar 2 3 org...

mak:dh ce kabo ke mak, awk blik pn nk wat nape umoh??

Aku:alorr balik umoh bleyh tlg mak kebun,nebas2 sket g kat kebun owh..;p

mak:rajin sgt la awk..mase cuti bape kali ngat mari kebun..

aku:owhhh..kang petang2 mari okmo..

mak:petang2 tu last 1mggu sblum awk blik kampus.

aku:dh sblum tu org kije kang..mmg adop mse nk g kebun..huh

mak:sape suh awk kije klau awk blik pn bkn awk duk umh jgk..kuor ngn geng2,kidik,mat piah sume..bek awk duk dinun dr awk blik umoh,lega sket aty mak rse..bkn mk xsuke mg kuor ngn geng tp sedor sket yg mg tu kne blajo..ni duk peting k kwn2 sokmo..kang cuti lepas byk dh abes mse ngn kwn2,hor dh ni abes cuti dh,fokus k belajo lop..ni final awk kn,wat molep lh.

aku:wohhh..pnjg goh blebel..mak tuko jd lect cni ar lop..haha

mak:mak srius ni bkn maen2,pk molep nape hop mak pesan.

Aku:horlaa..org xblik eah...(nak blik pn jd ke mslh)huhu bosan nak mati

infinity

spiritless..or it could be infinity..p klas cm ughh...bkn mls,p skdr nk sign name jep.xde smgat nk blaja lgsg. Got no feeling,or feelingless myb the most precise word. what make it even worse,i couldnt figure out why i be like this.i got no feelin to talk to others,replies, to the lecturers,friends..PASSIVE. Hoo..such a bored life i had here.sumtimes i think felt too cormfortable at home compared at the campus.ohh i mean not the facilities.i dun mind at all as long i get a place to sleep.thats more than enough,haha.its about friendship i have here...arghh..forget about it! i try to live happily as i can.i motivated myself "i got to live every single day like tomorrow never comes".it helps me a little bit..learn.independent

1stday

whuaaaa...bru 1st day da start klas igt'an bole rilek2 dlu..rm100?abes lam mse xsmpai stgh ari..mcm bnde PERLU dibeli. mkn xsgt..dr smlm bru arni ak mkn kt arked.mula2 msuk ofis,dpt blik A404...HAAAAA??nun di puncak ats..gler~skrg ni xtau la da bpe kali trun nek tgge rse cm betin n peha da membngkak haha..hari2 cmni smpai abes sem tggal tulang je kot..blik ad kipas cm xde gune je.lau tghari jgn hrp ak duk kt blik.lau x,mau stiap 3jam ak tuka baju.dlu besh jer duk floor 1.nk jemur baju no hal ar..sejuk,gelap..tp ble pk org len yg 1blik 3org..errrr ak rse ak da kire b'tuah lol..mmm junior ak tgk sume ok je cme ad gk 2 3 org  yg ermm..cm xbpe friendly.suke aty la..xamek pduli sgt.skng ni ngah bajet duit lau bole thn smpai 2mggu.mls ar nk mtk byk2 ngn mak.huaaaa...survive bebeh,RM150..err bole kot lau xde buku lg yg kene byr..

chow

Last minute on9!

sempat g nk blogging..erm..arini ak xrse ap2..xberat aty,xhappy,xsdey..rse cm xad ap2..tp xtau nape,naluri ak kate junior ttp xbesh..ak akn ad mslh ngn junior bkk msuk sem ni.HAHA..ak mda la xtau sblik ngn sape sem dpn..ak yg pling last htr borg sem lepas..ak xplih pn roomate ak sape.pehhh jgn 1blik ngn junior sudey..Ohh da nk gerak chow..farewell omm cwit ommm.

Please

Today i was searching for my calculator..i need it for this sem cause ill use it for economy subject. Aiyoo~isince after SPM i didnt touch it. As i remembered i kept it in my cupbord,haha..its not there..hooo~that calculator hav lot of memories. I tried to search it on the cupbord..who knows? Hey i found sumthing, a black diary..i opened it..WHAT?? its mine!HAHA..Gosshh! i dun remember i ever had a diary once..it was when im in standard 4. So many memories refreshed when i read from the 1st page until at the end..sweet,sour,bit, all in there..weird..why? if i didnt found that diary,i will never memorize that i fell in love with 5 girls from form2 till 5..huahuahuaaa...its hard to believe..ak da nyanyuk kew...ak da xbpe igt..ble ak bce je bru ak trigt ap yg ak da wat dlu..all i remember is dyh,hahah Urmm..its not the main point here. After finished reading..i realised that ive changed a lot now. ONce i always said to others,they were all changed..never same like b4..meanwhile i  didnt even notice myself..Also i think me in the diary is thougher than me now. never give up easily..struggle hardly for his ambition..skng ni ak da jd cm mls nk blajar..xde smagt..Somehow i felt like i dun need anymore this diary,i dun wanna to look back,i dun wanna all those memory..enough for all.i juz wanna look forward..thats my line.So, i burned it. Farewell ahmad fakhri 2004-2008...
Herm..td ak pg yunan jumpe abg najib,aki,idham,areh..yela last day msti nk jmpe member2..pasni myb da susah nk jmpe blik..msg2 akn smbung blajar plak..haha, Mmm..tbe2 je rse berat aty..ak xkn jmpe member2 cmnie kat UiTM..please God,dun make me feel like this..it make me spiritless..shuhhh!!
now its already 2:00 a.m. i will back to Kuantan within 8hours.Guess this will be my last blog for this month.Hoo..blik kampus da xbley on9..laptop ak rosakk...mls nk baiki..da bape kali baiki same je..aiyoo~
serik da..pasni jgn beli acer..skrin mudah rosak.skali tuka skrin RM8++ owh..kwn ak stakat da 4org kne pblem same.herm..pndaila2 nk hidup seyhh~ 




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WELCOME UiTM

I'll never say gudbye..lau ak da nk mati bru ak akn sebut p'kataan tu.HAHA;p Ermm..mls sgt nk blik kampus.Tp lau pk2 balik,smpai ble ak nk trus camni ek?mmg ar besh duk uma dr duk kt kampus..think ahead and think positively!! Hermm, t ble duk kampus rse mls la plak nk blik uma,bese cmtu la stiap kali yg ak rse..uhh kat kampus ak ad merc,amru,ayen(even die kdg2 emo ngn ak,HAHA)amar,emet,epul,noh,aidil,adam,ako...alif...ops,lupa alif da xde sem3 ni..huaaaa~geng susa senang ak..xpe2,ak akn idupp cm bese! tu sume bg ak geng2 yg ak rse bole wat grau,1kpale..hahahahaha...ble igt ad diorg,rse happy sket..Tp bg ak,cner pn hdup tetap ats daya dri sdri jgk,Jgn depent sgt ng org len. Lau da bese sgt mtk tlg org,t sume bnde rse cm susa nk wat lau xde org tlg.Uhh..ad ayt ni sebut when u close to others,u may become even weaker or stronger..tp bg ak ble mkin rapat ng org ak rse mkin lemah ad ar.Ble xde org rse cm ap ek..how should i put this eah.."I cant go,I cant do it"? ahh lantak ah..haha.. People come n people go,camtu gk ngn kwn..bg ak la. Im a lone wolf,tu pegangan hidup ak kat uItm. Bkn mksud ak kwn xpnting tp..be independent..sbb kwn tyme sng xsusa pn nk cri,tp kwn tyme susa, hmm pk la sdri.. Lgpun kat akhirat t sorg diri gk.xkn ad org len tlg,msg2 akn bmbang hal sdri..hey jd ustaz jap..;p Tp ak rse b'syukur sgt..ak ad 3kwn yg mmg tiap kali ak ssh die msti ad,even tyme sng of course lh wajib ad..err kucing,ayam n ikan emas ak,bhahaha~ xklakar pn. OH,kasut,baju sume da abes packing.Tggal baldi,sabun ngn hanger je lg yg blom.nk beli baru kew or...em,ntah cner keadaan kt kampus ekk..da laen or still same cm dlu lg..cner agknyer suasane ngn junior baru t? Rse2 cm xbesh jer ad junior..hahaha. Ramai2 sgt rse serabut ad ar..nape x nyer, pdg lalang kecik owhh..lau kampus besar cam kampus org len xheran ar ak.kuikuikui Emm..tp naluri ak kate sem3 ni x sehappy sem2..errr xtau lh, tgk je la..happy ker sem2 mslhnyer? Eh..bukan3..mslhnyer dtg cni nk happy2 ke?haha..


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what happen?

wake up from dream!!i dunno what happen to me this week.i mean about SHE..when i memorize back what..HAHAHA its ffreaking funny..no wonder why ain laughed at me~tch~,D what hav i done..im not myself..i went too deep into her.stop from having this kinda feeling.it will eat myself sumday.no more SHE.shes not im aftering for..not my prority r8 now.guess who u r..u r not the type of girlsmaniac.u r freeman remember?-yeah..im not into her,but its just uhh i felt comfortable when i get closer to her.myb i can win this game and myb not..jeez,i dun wanna take the risk.i must put my prority on my aspiration.what im aiming for the whole of my life.hey,people come and people go,always remember that.get on ur line back fakhri!!