Rodeo Clown

   Hai bloggie googie, since uhh almost 2weeks I didn't see ya. I don't miss you because I already knew you never miss me,hahaha. Bluffing.. haih. Emm uncomfortable feeling casting on me lately. There's a reason I made you bloggie. I throw all of my stress, problems, anger and sad maybe... just for one goal so I don't have to remember all of those thing and burden myself to carry and dealing my day. Also to be my best listener and friend right? Really?? We're COOL eh?. Here's my story then. You know what, there's a saying people change as they are aging. Now I can really see how that saying working on my situation right now. Friends, they will never be the same person as the first time we met them. I really don't mind if they are going bad or otherwise. What I need to call a person FRIEND only RESPECT follow by TRUST. You give me respect I pay you honor and trust. But I don't ask enormous respect. Damn ! I am bluffing again. Uhm here I am again, walking alone as a lone wolf. I leave the persons I called comrade once. They were all change. All of them. We, us don't breath the same air anymore.  Adib, Piah, Areh, Kerol, Faiz and Aki. I choose to leave because I don't think we emm..no I mean myself is not compatible like we used to be.  Rodeo Clown..? No more.


  Tomorrow night I will be departed to Malacca. I made my research on that city. UiTM Bandaraya Melaka. 367 km from Kuala Terangganu. 0.1 km from Maybank. 1.7 km from Bank Islam. Nearest mall is Tesco 1.8 km. Shah Alam? emm about 64 km something maybe. Overall I can say that the campus is just as same as the campus in Kuantan. Lot of commodity available. I am not saying I am well prepared but in case if Im lost there will be no much trouble for me to find the way. My parent couldn't send me along as my father is not here. So here I am again. Trying to interdependent my self.  Also God, I hope you give me strength to be myself there. Influence, peer or what ever so-called-psychoticism, please let me away from that and also to the person I care. Uhm, enough for tonight, See you again dear bloggie.

Espalela

"Fakhri!! Fakhri!! bangung kul brape dh ni ! " jam bilik aku menunjukkan 10.35 pagi bermakna tak sampai 3jam aku tido tadi. Aiyo~ mak suruh aku teman dia pergi bank hari ni. Semalam da pesan, aku lupa..hehe. Abg long ada tapi mak suh ak jgk, pelik. Mak malas bawak kete so aku dipaksa. Sememangnye aku malas bawak kete, jadi driver. Kalau orang lain bawak kite jadi penumpang baru best. Macam bos rasenyer,HAHA. Broom3!! bunyi ekzos kereta macam kereta lumba. Mak aku tengah panaskan enjin kereta. "Eh bila masa abah beli kereta baru? Eh tak, masa bila abah tuka ekzos?" hati aku tertanya-tanya. Setahu aku abah paling benci kalau bunyi enjin bising macam ni. "memekak je" Aku yang baru sudah mandi ngn kain tuala kua lagi terus keluar tengok. Pehh..Volkswagen Golf GTI color hitam arang depan mata aku ! Susah nak percaya. Aku yang pada asalnya malas giler jadi super duper spiritual nak bawak kete. Tanpa banyak tanya kat mak aku, terus aku masuk lam kete tu test drive. "Mak, kejap nak pusing-pusing umoh jap,panas enjin kete bleh op?" "Apa kebenda ngn mandi kuba nak bwk kete na..." mak aku belum abes cakap ak reverse kereta terus ronda-ronda kampung dgn rasa bangga. "Wah, rase cam mimpi jer" aku cakap. CLICHE!! Bila aku sebut ayat tu baru terasa there's something wrong. Yeah baby, it was a dream (-___-). 3perkara yang menghairankan aku secara tiba-tiba. Aku memang tahu bawak kete tapi mak aku takkan pernah bagi aku bawak kereta dia atau kereta abah sebab aku mana ada lesen kete lagi ! Tu satu. Ekzos bising, tak mungkin akan ada sebab abah memang tak suka,tu dua. Mak aku tak panggil aku Fakhri kat rumah, tu tiga. Bila sedar je macam tu. "Bangun ar, malas aku layan mimpi ni..menyakitkan hati je,haha baik bangun tido balik n mimpi benda lain". Tahu tak? motif sebenar entry ni aku nak beritahu secara sedar kita mampu kawal mimpi kita sendiri. Bukan kita yang dikawal mimpi.

*aku mengarut je ni jgn lyn sgt,sj menaip utk mengantukkan mata:p

out

Parody

I don't know how to put this goddamn feeling literally. I don't know whether this is a joke or otherwise. So, here's a story. I picked up from somewhere actually, it's kinda relate or something coincidently. 


A man goes to a doctor says he's depressed. Life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in threatening world. The doctor says treatment is simple. "The great clown Plagiacci is in town, go and see him. That should pick you up". Man bursts into tears, "But doctor.." he says. "I am Plagiacci". 


He could help to fade everyone's tears by laughters, shrieks and jokes. But no one could help him to fade his tears, sadness and anger. No one. No one could ever see either as Joker never put off his smile.

why so serious? be cool baby !

Sword and Shield

There's only 1 person able to take you to the highest level.

Someone that you must beat everyday.

YOURSELF.

If you think you are perfect already, then you never will be.

There's only 1 word you must never pick up.

One word that represents future failure.

GIVE UP.

If you admit defeat early, then you are forever nobody.

There is 1 time in life when you're being knocked down.

A word that kills your feelings, mind and soul.

HOPELESS

If you believe  there's still hope, even 0.01 per cent.

You believe you can, then you can.

  

Believe in oneself. 

Never ever put 100 per cent trust on others.

It doesn't mean you are a poker.

Just one word

CAUTIOUS

History taught everything.

It's my belief. 
They help to keep my soul breathing until today.

to hell with wise word, heck no its not

Fortune

I pass the sup paper test. The burden now is all gone. Thats all, I dont wanna talk more about it. That part is finally over. Happy? nah.. Excited? of course not. Relieve? a little. Grateful?Yeah. Thanks

theres nothing to be happy if its just a good fortune

Secebis Memori

    Banyak benda yang aku kurang ingat pasal benda yang dah lepas. Bila ada orang sebut baru memori aku refresh balik, satu demi satu ishk. So untuk membunuh masa(direct trnslate english,haha) aku nak mengarut cket pagi ni. Aku nak start dari hari mula-mula aku masuk UiTM. First day registration masuk langkah kaki kanan dengan hati kecil berbisik " Eh, ni UiTM ke tadika?" Yeah, sememangnya ia UiTM Kampus Kuantan padang sekolah aku empat kali ganda lagi besar. Masa registration aku sibuk cari Nik, member satu sekolah aku. Dia pun dapat tawaran sini. Tengah usha-usha Nik tiba2 je mata aku ni t'usha benda lain. Ada sorang awek ni pakai baju kurung bertudung merah depan aku selang lam 4orang. Tak tahulah nak kata lawa,  ramai lagi pmpuan lain yg lawa yg ada masa tu. Entah, aku suka tengok bila dia senyum, tingkah laku dia masa tu.Ada tarikan tersendiri yang aku sendiri tak mampu nak explain.  Erm tapi nak dpendekkan cerita sampai sekarang pun ak tackle tak dapat,HAHA. Okeh, abes citer sal awek,hahaha. Orang first yang aku buat geng budak TESL Aliff bdk Tgnu jgk, masa daftr bilik. Time MMS pulak ak kenal ngn Merc sebab kterog 1bilik, Aku, Merc, Hazimi and Mustafa satu bilik. Hazimi dgn Mustafa susah cket nak masuk geng masa tu sbb diorg tak bnayak cakap. So, yang bley satu kepala Merc sorang je. Layan je la walaupun bagi aku masa tu tgk Merc cam budak gangster je. Nak takut apa..bhahahaaha Muka jer nampak gangster tapi cam Adnan sempit ckp lam haty ada taman,HAHA. Time MMs jgk ak kenal Epol, Noh, Sha Raiza, Cepu n Aziz. 5kawan ni memang sehati sejiwa, mana pergi selalu berlima. Macam mana aku bleh masuk geng diorg ak sndiri da lupa, yang ak ingat time lam dewan sebelah aku da ada budak 5eko ni. Sembang punya sembang nampak ada sense of humor terus jd kawan. Ishk senang kan nak wat kawan?haha. Ohh da subuh, nak tido..Eh!nak semayang subuh,silap. Smbung lain masa:)

Better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for someone you are NOT