Dominion

I am at my weak point. Heart is a very fragile kinda thing you know. I know I can't let keep it on like this or else I will end up as a goddamn broken person forever. These past three days I spent my nights thinking of how I wanna get myself as soon as possible. Confident, Brave, Courage and Spirit. They were all gone. Hey, I need you right now. Final exam is closer. Yet, my heart refuse to speak to me. It just keep silent these days. Weird eh? I don't have an idea what others will think of me if I say.. There are two entity residing inside of me. My heart and my mind. Both are like oil and water. No understanding towards each other. Nahh..I'm bluffing of course. I can feel I am getting better. I feel no sorrow. It's a good thing to blocked her. I got no motive to go on9. Yep, I have much time on my study. I say to my heart, "Hey, you've already clear about her right, so lets move on. But don't force yourself. We'll move slowly, a little by little it will fade away". Now I need to find my lost confidence, courage, brave and integrity back. I've already got my half of courage and spirit. All I need to do now is getting my confidence. Heart, listen to me. From now I am, you are under my order. Haih, goddammit this is so ridiculous, haha. Uhm, in my prayer, I ask dear Allah to ease in my education, to ease me forget her but also pray for her happiness. She is special because she has had gave a great impact for who I am today. I learn to think the ways of girls thinking even not overall I get to fathom. I learn to get over control of my own emotion. I learn to be stronger. Whenever I think about her I will think she is happy and healthy so I don't have to pay unnecessary care about her. Haih I got a lot to be typed here actually instead of this miserable stuffs. I just forgot, aiyoo. No need I guess. Next time then.