Hye bloggie.Since a while I didnt see ya.Im quite busy,got no time to go on9.So here I am, in Kuantan. This clan is facing big trouble right now.It messes up my head damn much. Last night we had troubles with D7. Our members the formal DR had been beaten by big bro of D7 meantime me and other members were not in Terengganu. The Big bro knwon well as Brother Iman aka Abg Long Iman in KL. We got a mission to track him in KL.Find and Kill mission. As same as suicide mission.

Fear

Hye bloggie,thought I wont see you anymore for this month.As usual I came to put unnecessary memory here.But first,theres a thing I wanna share with ya. I got a lot of activity this mid sem break.Im becoming the guy I used to be.I mean EXTREME,haha. Some say this is stupid activity. I wont say they are wrong. Everyone got their own opinion though. We are different. What we do, what we live for are different. So needless to say, what we do that define us. Last week I went fishing squid and pari at Pulau Kapas. I admit it, it was totally fun. I enjoyed. We planned to go to Pulau Redang next time. This 30th we planned to cycle to Betong. 60 KM from Kuala Terengganu,haha. I dont know what these guys are thinking but I do feel its challenging, aggressive.haih.This morning Im going to Kuantan. This July 30th, a day before Ramadhan there will be Family Gathering in Tambun. Rumors says it take place at Lost World of Tambun. Sounds like nothing, family gathering. No it isnt. It is the gathering of a heads of Asia. Ehm, I need to confess. I broke my own promise. I get myself involve again. But  theres a reason, now I see the important part and I realize something that I barely know before. Why I joined this gang. I get it now. I see the real surface of this clan. Its not as worse as what I think. So I decided to stay. Last night we gathered, we had everyone of the member's preposition. Buka Buku. I gave my own preposition. They seems fathom what I felt, what I had gone through. 432 of Manir, this is the first time I met this guy. If I wasnt mistaken, hes the sub-head of DR and he explained everything to me, and I feel..its the best and the most rational explanation Ive ever heard which I can accept his portion. His words, remind me the person of who I was before I am now. Exactly I am too ego, i just dont realize..no I actually I blinded myself ,refused to accept others view.There will be tough time in Kuantan. Some shit we have to settle with D7. I dont know why, it scare the shit out of me. My feet shaking..hahaha.. Maybe it was too long I keep invisible from them. I forgot how to conquer my goddamn fear. Nevermind, it will return soon or later.,,uhh hope so. Ohh I almost forgot the first part. Alini came to Terengganu yesterday. Since a long time her number didnt appear on my mobile screen. She is having her holiday with her classmates here. She asked me to show her interesting places in this pathetic state. Goddammit I was just woke up. Awwhh,he looks prettier from the last time I met her. Cute. At the beginning I felt so awkward, I acted cool and outstanding somehow. Still look fancy and charming with her tudung bawal. I like that. These days girls rather choose to wear selendang or uhh kinda shawl they call. It is beautiful but for me girls look even more beau..ummhh..how should I put "AYU" ? Nampak manis and sopan :) haha. Simple,modest but attractive ! Ohh no,no,no..its difference now. Indeed she is pretty but it doesnt mean theres still feelings towards her. I think the same goes with her too. Friend feels more comfort. I dont mean to her alone. I thought of every girls Ive met the same way. Ive learn and fathom what is mean by relationship and I realize I am not ready for it, or maybe I dont deserve that kinda relationship. This break, when I hang out with my buddies it show me that what Im looking for isnt what Im searching for. I just bored. I need entertainment. So I started 'fishing', something that I wasnt supposed to do. Im searching for something as a medium to fill my empty can, yet didnt realize it. It happened between me and White Lotus. I vowed to never did the same. Thats why I stop chasing the killer type girl. I misstep by luring myself into her infact I dont have such serious feelings for her. I cant stand for that guilt for the second time. Plus I got my punishment from The Rose. I am happy to see Alini again. Its been 2 and half year. I drove her and her friends to Cristal Mosque, Museum, Batu Burok and she didnt know my driving license is still with letter "L" bahaha. She will return home this Friday. I got a work to do so I cant be her tour guider until then. I wish I could actually.. Hoho. Thats all. I dont wanna keep these in mind. It just messes up my head for another important stuff tomorrow. chow bloggie ! ;D

Shark's Guss

I've just finished reading some stuff about shark's life,begin with their offspring,the breeding.I found some interesting trivia,haha..I don't know, its kinda relate maybe.You wanna know how sharks gave breed of their species? They starts out as eggs like any any kinda fish.Eggs incubate and hatch in their mom's womb.Most of the time the number of pups is less than the number of the eggs that were fertilized.Thats the interesting part.Do you know why? CANNIBALISM. The pups start eating each other within their mom's womb the moment they hatch.In other words,they start killing each other,their own siblings the moment they enter the world,viewing everything they see as nothing more than just preys.Members,Friends,Brothers even Siblings they could be the prey or the predator.Me? I really don't know what truly kinda people I am.Haha,nahh..I think all of us really dont know what kind of people we truly are..until the moments we face our death.People always whine about themselves,infact they were just pretend just the way they are.They cant tell themselves what they are.I just nagging of the people Ive met.Maybe I am wrong.Thats why seals this thing on you bloggie as a reminder for me if I found the exact answer someday.As death comes to embrace us then  we'll realize what are we.Dont you think so, bloggie? 

NowHere but NoWhere

No matter how far I run,I never arrive at my targeted point,the destination I always wanted to be in.In other words,seems like no.. feels like Im going nowhere.Ive deactivated my FB account,be invisible from the person I dont want to counter,get connected.They just wont leave me alone.Hoo..it was a curse and still a curse.Once you open the door youll never be able to close it down.Once you enter the room youll never able to get out.I always ask myself, will I live with that for the entire of my life? I wish not.Yesterday we had grouping of all region.I was forced to come.They were all pointed at me."where have you been?we thought you were dead" I said I do my job alone. They knew I lied.They keep saying the same words, brothers work in pack. I said brothers dont kill each other.They did seemed understood what was actually I meant, they just silent.This 22th there will new selection in WM.I gave my feet problem as an excuse for not coming.Some of them used to be the person I trust.But now,not anymore.I trust no one.Go to hell with the clan.If they wish to eliminate me,so be it.I feel much better that way.Uhmm,you wanna know somethin bloggie?once I heard this saying but I failed to fathom, "homesick for a place that you have never been". I think I get what its mean now.
out

Havckey Wackey

Moshimoshi...I come to see u bloggie.u should be happy.I dont know how to make a proper start,so i just go with what im going to share okay.Uhm,these 4days Ive been wasting my precious time in my room,downloading new movies,animes,songs,sofwares and bla,bla,bla.Im in desperate to go out.If not cause of my feet most possibly I am somewhere right now.This sem break I should be continuing my driving lesson.Even actually I am so lazy to go the driving school.Such bored doing something that we already knew.Driving is just a piece of cake.Ohh maybe I just getting so cocky.I am well aware of myself.But still, dont like it.Couldnt they just let me take the JPJ test huh..haha.No need to take teacher test and lesson hours? I just returned home from Batu Burok.Too desperate get some air.So I sneak out.Mom dont really mind actually if I tell her I wanna go somewhere in my condition.I just dont want to her to get worry.Watching my friends fixing and setting their cars its fun.Vrommmm3~!!.They got stuffs in W.M this Saturday.I wish I can join them.Heh, most possibly I couldnt.My feet doesnt allow me moving far.Theres a risk so I should take a note of that.I mean something illegal, anything could happen.So i think I should avoid myself from getting into any trouble.Enough with what had happen to me lately.Emm, I got 4 job vacancy offers for this break.With Abang as usual, a waiter haha.Merc, asked me to work with him this 16th.I couldnt.My feet wont allow me for that job.It need hard work and lot of movement.I cant risk my own feet.My aunt told me there are vacancy as a typist,security guard and call operator at her office.Nice income.I can live with her in PJ.But the problem is I cant get alongl with her boyfriend.Ugh every weekend he will come to fetch my aunt for date.Of course my aunt will ask me to follow.How can I refused.I am all alone in the house even if i refuse, she wont let me left alone,never.Thats my aunt imperfection.Still assume me like a ten year old.Bored mehhh..haih.In other words, me spoiled his mood for dating and getting some love maybe,bhahaha.I know she is pretty but my aunt isnt that easy man.She is tough and smart woman Ive ever known.Next, Cik Mimi my bestfriends's sister asked me to work with her for translating novel and as waiter again in MamaChop.For a novel I can get RM500.Sounds interesting and easy right? Believe me,it isnt but bearable cause it improve ur language.But to get back to Bangi..I dont think so.I afraid to I will reincarnate the dead person in me.No way.Lastly, my fromer teacher ask me if i can be a substitute English teacher in school.Come on. I just got Band 3 for MUET.Obviously not my hand of kind.Im not suit to be a teacher or else I will wreck the student's future,hahahahaha.Maybe Ill just stay with Abang or maybe I will stay with my aunt and just ignore her boyfriend.I dont know.I need to work somehow.Got something on my mind.Future planning that need a sum of money.

Aloha

At home.I am at ease.No tension.Relax.So less update from now on.Cant go out.My feet force me moving nowhere.But its a good thing though.An excuse for not getting on the job this 12th.There will be new selection in Damansara and Bangi.They need me to propose as the East part as I am neutral,Heh, bored with that,A bit regret,haha for white rose.I let the golden chance fly away.4months beb.Just contact each other on twitter and phone wouldnt bring us much far.Slowly I guess.That the most important part.Okay then,see ya next time bloggie.

101011.12.613.31

Maybe I miscalculated.Maybe I misplanned. Maybe I mistargeted.Whatever it is,obviously I was wrong.I am damn tired to make decision.People says "Never Give Up". I had so many of that wording.But right now I couldn't put even a bit of courage in it.Heh,Fakhri you should back off before its too late.Joker wont let himself be ride by Tow Face anymore.If you want to back off,now is the time.Feel free to scram yourself.Obviously and clearly showed that it isn't your hand of kind.No dice,no dice.Just take a dive man or youll lose everything.

Ya atau Tidak

Kerap betul ak blogging akhir2 niy.Sebab ad byk benda yang aku tak nak igt dan ad benda yg ak nk igt tp ak xnak simpan dalam kepala.Hmm,Manusia bila dia rasa diri dia kuat,xperlu bantuan orang lain,rasa dia boleh buat semua dengan kudrat dia sorg,dia akan rasa angkuh,ego dan megah.Tapi Allah tu Maha Penyayang.Dia takkan biarkan hamba dia hanyut dan lupa diri.Dari situlah turunnya musibah.Adakala musibah bertimpa-timpa.Satu demi satu datang,tak lekang.Untuk menguji hambanya dan memberi kesedaran betapa lemahnya mereka di atas muka bumi.Siapa itu Pencipta.Siapa itu hamba.Setiap musibah terkandung hikmah.Persoalan pertama timbul samada hikmah yang tersirat itu sebenarnya adalah hidayah kepada kita.Termenunglah sejenak si manusia akan dosa atau kesalahan yang telah dilakukan..tak terkira banyaknya.Persoalan kedua timbul apabila manusia itu mahu menerima hidayah itu atau tidak.Jika ya, dia akan berubah.Ya, hidayah sebenarnya didepan mata.Tak kira siapa.Hanya hati menentukan samada kita nampak dan mahu menentukan untuk menerima atau tidak hidayah itu.Tak tahu kenapa.Bangun je dari tido td trus datang benda niy lam kepala aku tiba.Sementara still fresh bek ak taep dlu kan..Ak rse ak kena ingat benda niy.Mayb ad something.hmm

Tuhan itu Maha Adil..Dia cipta semua benda berpasangan..Termasuklah anggota badan.kalau belah kanan dapat sakit belah kiri pun mesti dapat.begitulah sebaliknya.citer die,lapa.nak makan megi.nak turun bwh beli nasik xlarat nk jalan.jerang air kat dapur.tgk kuku panjang.cari kepit kuku.rsenyer ada atas almari.so kilmaks,air baru je didih atas meja.panjat meja carik kepit kuku ad ke tak.ok cuai.meja tebalik.tersimbah air panas kat kaki sebelah kiri.padan muka.kan da dua belah kaki jammed.kaki kiri sakit..sakit..pedih..kaki kanan sakit..sakit..bengkak n berdenyut.seb bek xbentan jahit time jatuh.haihhhhh,malang.paper 5hari lg.tp ap yg ak stdy setgh pun xsampai lg.betul2 rse cam stress gler skng tau takkk..housemate ni sorg cam ughh.geram jgk kadang2.time nak stdy time tu la dia nak wat gurau bodo.tua staun tp perangai cam budak2.hoooooo~Ya Allah.I really really need a place for peace in my head.bese lau serabut sangat ak p joging or jalan2 kat lua amek angin.lepak tepi sungai melaka.tgok river cruise.then sambung balik kije.tp skng,ngn kaki sakit.da 3hari da terperap lam bilik je keja ak.serabut.serabut ngn macam2.ak nak kuar.nak men bola.jalan2.rse cam nak amek pistol ltak kat kpale then bammm.abes cter.haha senang je nak aman.haaaa bodo2.xleh mati skng.ad byk g urusan dunia yg ak lom settle.ahh mengarut.nak balik tgnu,nak p lepak tepi pantai.nak terjun sungai.I need something as a medium to flow this tension out.ohh jelesnyer tgk org men futsal kat bawah.cter die lagi, ak bru jer terlepas ckp ngn housemate ak yg prngai cam budak niy.cam pompuan truh majuk.terus diam.ak just ckp ak xde mood nak lyn org p men jauh2.die wat ye jgk.ak xleh control.sgt2 tension, then ak cakap stop lah weh wat perangai bodo kau umo da matang wat ar cre matang.nak gurau un ad mase ahh..ak just ckp camtu.muke die trus len.haiiiihhhh..hmm.mayb sbb xpena ak buat camtu kot.ak xpena marah org lam rumah niy.cuma hari ni ak rse tension sgt.xleh cncentrate stdy.paper tggal 5hari je lg.its all bout facts.hafal.of course la kena prepare awak2,ak amek mase 3jam baru abes 1chap.xleh fokus pnye pasal.ak xnk mintak maaf.takkan.bia la dia sedar sket..tambah tension kepala ak ad ar nak rse besalah pasal niy.kadang kena jgk jd kejam.haihhh.

*uttered that time will solve the probs itself and for the probs that time can't handle then its your turn to settle it down yourself.

Live For Her

You are the most reason why I live.You are the most understanding and cool person I've ever known.Since the day I was born I troubled you much.The darkest history of mine when I was 18.I strayed.Not long enough to be a fiend.Until then you changed me to be a better person.You ought me to know what is mean by never give in for someone.So I will do the same for you.I love you.Happy Mother's Day Mom.

Cease to Exist

Lately Ive been thinking so much about myself.What am I.What kinda heart I have.Once I thought I was the one who is kind-hearted person.But yesterdays incident really negate that.I was going deeply into my own heart.Knowing the truth.Its dark.I couldn't believe myself.But I take a minute thinking of my past.Friend.I see it now.I dont know if I have a bad heart.But Im sure I dont have that kind heart.Negative elements always residing inside which i barely notice before yesterday.I never be sincere to anyone.In everything.I am a liar.Lie to everyone including myself.I don't feel sad neither regret.I couldn't change that.I have to live with that.A bad guy try pretending to be a good guy,but the reality is he'll always be a bad guy.

Hazard

bet big win big.im gonna win this fight.i will do what ever it takes.hey bloggie,pray for me please.aihh.

A Gift

God gave me another souvenir obstructing my 7days of freedom.

Limb For Swim

I just need a peace of mind.Hell I feel sick of everyone in this house.No attitude,not rude but unmannered.When the time comes for me to sleep then they will get noisy like monkey.I dont mind if they switch on the lights but at least please dont make noise dammit.I cant sleep like this.This fellow got his final paper tomorrow morning.He let his classmates into the house.This part really pisses me off.For me when I get into someone else jurisdiction I wont get cocky and simply make like my own.These weirdos,uhm only one of them can be accepted.Normal.He do have respect others.Even once I hold grudge against him but he changed now.The rest are just like dog shit.Cocky and arrogant.I dont know what problems they got against me.Infact this is the first time I met em.I tried to be wise,be friendly.But they were just get so cocky.So I decided, I take care of my own problem and they mind of themselves.Buat hal sendiri.Lately ,they seems like going beyond of the limit.Okay heres the story.Fellow wasnt at home.This fellow's friend came,door locked.I was watching movies.They rung the bell like ughh,ohh I dont have an idea how to verbalize this.Cam org giler tekan loceng.First I thought it was Bob.So I am not pisses off since Im used to it.When I opened the door and see,that was somebody else.I felt like..damn you.I dont even know who.He asked me where is this fellow.Ohh,fellow's freind.I said he went out somewhere.He asked again where is fellow's external hardisk.I answered how the hell I know.I dont like his tone.He dont deserve kinda respect reply.So I be cold too.Plus I dont really care about other people's stuffs,belongings.I really,dont know.Again he asked me to search for it.Huh,who do you think you are you dumbass.Why dont you search for it by yourself.Bodo punye org.I just pointed where fellow's room is.He went into the room then lingered around the livingroom.Failed to find it maybe,he got mad.I just mind of my own business,ignored him.Then he went out.BAMMMM!! he slammed the door.Ughhh..okay that was rude you dickhead.I swear if he come and do that again the least I'll give him is a punch on his damn face.I got 1more day to be prepared for ADS.I do need peace of mind.Today I keep myself away from others.You know, feel sick of everyone.I am not friendly kinda person.But I do be kind and make peace with everyone.Thats the problem for person like me.When I get mixed up with this bunch I heard so many story.Negative of course.The same way when I get into another bunch.They negate each other.In front they pretend like they got no problems towards each other.Im sick of pretender.It can be accepted if we pretend to avoid fights,just peace to all.But this is different.Most of them pretend to fulfill their benefits.Use that person even inside you exaggeratedly you dislike em.I hate that.I rather walk alone in this world than mingle with these kinda of people.I feel disgusted.Really.haihhhhhhhhhhhhhh..okay feel a little bit relieved.bye