Contusion

  Last night, i bought a pair of new earphone, the earbud one! So nice to listen to good music. Hey, even the worst music sounds better. After i finished all the freaky assignments i laid down on my bed, music time! Release all the miserable kinda thing. The first thing on my principle during listening to music, i HAte when somebody interrupts and asking questions. He switched on the light, it's okay i don't mind as I was not about to sleep yet. I looked at him,  he said something and laughed. I don't know what he is talking about. I didn't heard a thing. I just smiled then "haha".  I know he was talking to me..but i have no feeling to hear and listen. As usual from him. Pillow talk..bhahahaa, but if i jump in to his conversation, even until morning the topic is more than enough! I had it and i don't wanna have it anymore. Plus, almost all of the topic..was not interesting,huhu Letihla la nak layan..;( I just want to have my time alone in my world for a while, being myself..;p Listen to the lyrics and trying to understand what's the song is about. My habit, one of my hobby to kill the time while getting to sleep. I opened my eyes, then he looked at me and yelled. " appa ko denga tak?" i paused the song, Haa? "Oh kau tak denga tak de apalah.." He turned back and then went out from of the room. Aiyoo..he looked upset... What have i done..? Aiyooo33~ =( I don't know, guilty maybe. What type of friend i am. At least i should tell him i wanna have my time alone. Alamak.. kecik haty pulak.. rasa cam jahat gila jer. Adoolaaa..

Today he went home, and just me alone in this room. Hmm, not lonely. But just the feeling of appreciate him as a friend. When he is not around i realize how is the sense of "nakama". Maybe instead of couldn't be a good brother, i couldn't be a good type of partner, roommate and friend.


out

Friends

Friends, i love to be friends of everyone. No matter who they are. Im not saying that i'm friendly and a good friend but, if there is existence of humor that's good enough. However there are problems if we be friend with everybody. Here they have their own clan,group or so-called-gang maybe. I have no problems with all of them except when we were  hanging around together, there will be such unpleasant kind of word, umm..how should i put "mengumpat"? When what of their words is about the person I know, they were all laughing. I just being silent and quiet. Yeah, some of what they've said were true. But, hey..they are still our friends afterall. Dont they feel nothing? Because they act kind in front but behind..? Then when i hang with other so-called-gang, i felt guilty. Like "talam dua muka". Live to be a lone wolf is better. No such trouble. 

Inspirasi

   Tadi saya baru saja baca blog awak. Dulu masa mula-mula kita isi borang IPTA kita dah ikrar nak ambil asasi undang-undang sama-sama kan.. Bila keputusan dah keluar semua berjaya dapat tawaran Asasi Undang-Undang. Bezanya, awak dapat yang KPTM punya. Terpisah kat sini, tapi semangat nak bersaing tu tetap ada. Dari dulu saya selalu kejar awak. Hahaha... saya terpaksa terima, saya masih tak mampu nak berdiri sama aras dengan awak. Walau sejauh mana pun saya pergi, saya masih tak mampu nak kejar awak. Awak selalu selangkah di hadapan saya. Tapi itu bukan bermakna saya akan berputus asa walaupun ada juga rasa letih wujud dalam hati saya. Awak ialah aspirasi saya dan mengatasi awak adala inspirasi saya. Selagi saya belum mati selagi tu saya takkan mengalah. Dah lama tak jumpa kan. Bila baca blog awak je saya tau khabar awak. Minggu ni, rasa tak ada semangat nak belajar tu dah datang balik.. Semester ni saya kena dapat  3.6 baru boleh sambung BLS. MUET? saya xdapat capai band 4.Besar kemungkinan saya tak mampu nak capai target tu memandangkan syllabus sem ni agak susah nak cope. Satu jew..Economy, saya tak tahu apa-apa.. Tapi bila baca blog awak, semangat tu datang balik. Saya tak nak kalah dengan awak. Saya maybe xmampu nak sambung BLS habis semester ni, itu yang saya nampak. Tapi still ada jalan lain nak pergi ke BLS. Saya kena amek Science Admin lepas ni. Masa jer yang menjadi persoalan. Tapi saya tak nak ambil kira semua tu selagi saya boleh kejar awak dan merealitikan aspirasi saya.

Decide

No more, I'll put an end to this matter myself. I don't have much time for playing anymore. Plus i've lost the feeling. Seems like I'm able to see right through in front of me. Foggy, i got rid of it already. I get it, Its all up to me, whether i wanna be in hesitation or not. The right thing to do and should do is just put and end. Okay=) 

Done

Done all the assignments, revision but it means nothing. There are lot more will be arrived soon. Hooo~ Just watching Fairy Tail and Naruto Shippuuden. Get bored of it already. A glass of nescafe, a bowl of mushroom soup, toasted bread and Oreo accompanied me this late morning. I couldn't sleep.. No, i just don't wanna sleep yet. Hey i love this air, the surrounding, quite and calm. Peacefulness..! Then somebody came, Emet..aiyo..i was typing..No,No.. i will never show him otherwise he will laugh and know my true colours. My autobiography afterall. Heh.. Oh, i already forgot what im going to type now..tch~

Dazzle

Wow, she's very, very  pretty today..that's all. If there's a word greater than pretty, it could be the most suitable word to describe her. Not attracted but, just it immobilize me for a while. Though beauty is not long-lasting kinda thing.;) We are classmate after all and i have my own principle on that.YeikkS!;D

Farewell

Shocked and dumb, that's the only expression i had after i answered the call from your brother, Papu. Since two years we haven't met. The memories during we were naive in BBB will never fade off this mind. Youngsters of the clan and you are the most active one.  I'm not sad.. i couldn't fathom why, maybe it's because since long time ago we work together as a partner. Since that i lost the feeling of "nakama". People change, I've met many kinds of people though even the worst one. Put a fire and run.. that's your principle  i still remember about. People may say it's such a coward, but as long as we reach our goal, it doesn't matter. After i left BBB, i've heard rumors about you.. being 1432 of Teluk Intan. Too young for that position. I'm not interested with that news since i left the crowd. Go to hell with the clan. But, there are lot of things i respect so much about you. Brilliant, full of tricks and smooth talker. You are always a step in front. I never managed catch up with you. I wonder how your family will face this right now. Me, it really ruins my mind. Half of your life, wasted. Not worthy to be upset or aggrieved. Yet I couldn't think well, i couldn't smile. Farewell former partner, Taqiudin Mohd Harith..Al-Fatihah.

Smile

I am not a good brother.Since I am not close to my siblings. Especially with my eldest brother. We were just like oil and water. I even more closed with my friends, my bestfriends. Maybe that's the reason. Rarely i spend the time at home together with them. But i tried to be friendly sometimes. I love my little sister and my little brother so much, Ateh and Aleh. However, compared to my eldest brother they were even much friendlier. Again, i rarely spent my time with them i guess. Plus, all the time at home..i didn't talk too much with my siblings,  merely i rather be silent and passive. I have my own reason why,what i have done long time ago always haunting me. Me like a taboo. I don't deserve talk. Stupid eh, i could never cope that weakness. At once i have ever read my sister's diary. There was one page about me. She said she afraid of me..haha, it's not funny actually. Herm..maybe it's because of my past history. This mid-term holiday made me learn so much about family's ties. Outside the house in the backyard, I looked at the sky.. it was very cloudy, hey it's gonna rain. Then i heard my sister shouted to my little sister " Ateh..angkat baju!!!" Haha, she was busy playing with her notebook, today each students got their own notebook from the government, free. No wonder, everyday and everytime she always with her beloved notebook,TC..Terengganu Computer on it. " Owoh gerang goh..macang ye xleh akat sdiri..!" Unwilling expression casted on her face..kihkih. I just looked at her, she doesn't even notice me standing behind her. One by one she took the clothes and putted them on her shoulder.  How pathetic.. "Meh cni abangoh tulong tek" . She looked at me.. Still, like a lion ROAR!! HAHAHAHA~  Then she continued pulling the clothes and at the same time she smiled. I don't know, but for me that was the sweetest smile i've ever seen from her. I'm very happy to see such expression, because for a guy like me whom assumed as a cold person in the family its a ...  Uhhh..how should i put this eah? terharu? tersentuh?hahaah... I don't have an idea. But whatever the feeling is.. Im so glad to see that smile ^_^

A Fiend

 A fiend will always be a fiend. Yes i admit it. Once I was a fiend, or maybe Im still a fiend, I don't know. I couldn't judge myself. It was all began when i was in my secondary school. The place where i've started to be wild, rude and naughty. Then after SPM i've joined the clan which is illegal and my parents didn't know until today. I came to Bangi where there are lots of dark side of me had been recorded. From Bangi we spread till Kedah, and then put a flag on Wangsa Maju. But i never killed a person, i won't do such thing. I still have my mind. But now i've changed, i've never involved with them anymore.  I know what i want, a future. I has a little brother 4 years younger than me. Naughty, wild and  such hard headed boy. Tonight father was very angry of him. He scolded him because of his naughtiness. He went out with his friends until midnight and didn't even told my parents where he go. More than 5th times he did the same habit. Im  doing my assignments that time then a word cast out from father " do you want to be like your brother?!!" there are more than that but i guess i shouldn't type it here. Im not hurt at all.. but it makes me realized something. No matter how far you have changed people will never forget of what you did in your past especially your bad history, your bad personality. A fiend will always be a fiend.. Maybe i could never be a good role model for my brother. So i just let him, do what ever he want. I've experienced all of his immatured behaviour before.. for a boy of his age he will never listen to advices.  But deep inside, i really care about him..  Truly i couldn't search a solution for this. But i mentioned earlier, as what i have experienced, mistakes will make him learn. That's the best teacher afterall..maybe..I hope so


out 

Turn back the pendulum

Eri! koho kurus lening! mung bahang dadoh ke nape? The first sentence i heard on my first step into my grandma's house. As usual whenever i meet her, that is my aunt. 26 years old and still single,kihkih..kuang ajor ngoh anok dara tua eah.. kawin cepat2 xmo, " wat nape kawin..ada tok laki wat susoh idup Mok Su ada". Hahaha..Mok Su milih ngat ekpom. I got nothing much to argue with her this time. Grandma was busy, weaving ketupat, her hobby beside teaching people reciting Koran. So, i just sat beside her and listened to those mak cik -mak cik reciting the Koran. Wow, since a long time ago i haven't heard such pleasant voice. It makes me calm and comfortable. She have a nice tone and pitch. Suddenly one of the mak cik stopped " Suwok, ni cucu mung anok Mek Sulong eah?" Hor ye la ning.. setahun sekali baru napok muke. (Oh that's hurt okay..;p) "Hor..Pakeri.. beso panjang doh hor.. sutey muka macang aboh ye.." Hahaha..pakeri.. freaking funny lol.. what a nice name you called me eh..I just smiled to her. Little overawed, i don't even remember her actually..huhu But she said when i was a kid, i always playing under her house. Main pondok-pondok together with her grandsons and her grandaughters. Once i got wounded at my chin because i fell down from her pokok jambu arang. My chin was bleeding, and her husband carried me to my grandma's house. Hor..ye ahh,ingat2t, i just nodded my head even actually i don't memorized it, not one bit..haha. Hmm.. so nice to be at home. This is what i mean by traditional. Sometimes i miss the time when i was a kid, here. Unmatured, tch~


out

Pain

Dah 2 minggu tak main futsal. Esok dah cuti, abes cuti mesti sibuk dengan assignment lagi.. Bila lagi nak main. So malam ni pergi je lah.. Sebenarnya tak ada semangat nak main sebab aku tak ada kasut. Tanpa kasut aku tak boleh main betul-betul lol.. Asal-asal ingat nak tengok jer orang main. Tapi bila tengok staff main kurang ajar gila, hati kering, rasa geram plak. Boleh katakan semua group staff main macam tu. Tahulah star, skill power. Then pinjam kasut Helmi masuk padang. Kalau nak dibandingkan aku dengan dia memang lah mcm langit dengan bumi. Aku akui dia memang teror ar senang cakap. Tapi Adam cakap kalau dia datang depan kau, buat rilek je, tengok jer dia nak bawak bola tu pegi mana. Then baru masuk. Ohh..betul juga.. 3kali aku berjaya rampas bola dari sorang pak cik yang memang kerek gila niy.. Kali ke4, dia datang sekali lagi kat aku.. macam xpuas hati jew.. Sampai depan aku, terus ak rembat bola tu. Kaki aku dengan kaki dia berlaga. Tergolek jatuh atas padang. Padan muka, puas hati aku. Jangan harap aku nak tolong angkat kau n minta maaf. Kerek sangat, aku tengok then buat bodoh je. Aku pun boleh wat hati kering kalau nak main macam tu.

Dah adat main futsal mesti ada yang seliuh mana-mana. Sakit lol nak jalan kaki.. Sebelum lawan staff main ngn budak2 group B main kaki ayam jew. Memang kena lanyak ar kaki aku. Ibu jari sampai lah kat buku lali.Tadi pergi terminal aku ambil masa 1/2 jam jalan kaki. Biasa xsampai 10 minit pun. Walau apa pun malam ni kena balik jugak. Semua orang dah balik. Yang tinggal, Cepu, Ako, Komag dgn Shah semua nak stay kampus sampai habis cuti. Aku tak nak la duduk sini. Aku tak nak mati kebosanan.;p

out

Try Outs

Try an error is the only way to know for unexpectable. We gamble for an answer. I've done this and i've got the answer. The answer is negative. Earlier, i thought it will give me bad impression. But actually i feel relieved and "hey..ive got nothing to lose". Usually it may takes several days for me to get up back. However, this time i felt nothing.  One of my burden is gone now. Maybe i'm used to it.. of course, it's more than 5th times i experienced it. It gives me immunity. I'm immuned! It means i'm free to go anywhere i want. No guilty mind, no excuses. Also..now i believed in planning system. If Plan A is not working, then I should try Plan B. Hard boiled style, that's me ;DDD. Thanks to Merc and Emet for giving me earlier precautions and thanks also to my instinct for instructing me to the truth. It helps me to manage this matter well...;))

The Rose 4

Search, observe, understand and learn. I just wake up from a dream. The dream told me something i guess. It is weird dream, rarely i remembered what i dreamt. I don't really need to be serious actually. That's the formula i got for this type of girl. Just relax and expect nothing much from her. Let the time move it way. Don't take it seriously. My instinct said "Love Is a Game" is the girl's principle.

The Rose 3

Tired, sleepy and dizzy. Thought because i didn't sleep last night till the morning then entered BEL332 class. Madam Rose played Shutter Island today, she said this movie courage the people to think critically. Overall, this kindda movie is very boring and not interesting at all. 10:30 a.m i can't hold it anymore. My eyes were too heavy to watch this movie. Im so sorry Madam Rose.. I went up to the urban legend room, my second room and slept for 3hours. Ho..what a nice landing. Okay, stop this ridiculous writing. Too sleepy for an introduction.5.00 pm as planned, i'm going out for a date with her today. I'm happy because this time i felt the existence of humorous between us. We talk about many things. Yet, it doesn't mean anything. I still couldn't sense her feelings, either she is happy or not. I mean her reason to go for a date with me. I don't want to put such high hope otherwise it will bring enermous bad effect to me. It's like she is blocking her mind, i could read neither her gestures nor her eyes. Stop here, i don't wanna think about it right now. All i want now is rest. ZZZzzzz

Hesitate

I could'nt reach her mind. I mean i haven't manage to reach her true colors. Actually i'm hesitate about her feelings. My instinct said she is not the kind of girl that desire for a serious relationship. My instinct is never wrong. But still, "hesitation" linger on my mind. I hate this damn feeling. But, all i know and should do is always be cautious. Indirectly as same as following the flow of the river. I need to keep myself from drowning incase if could'nt swim aside.

The Rose 2

Heyyo bloggie googie. Since a week i did not see you right..? Thanks for being my best best friend for this all day long. The reason for your existence. I managed to handle all of those matters on my own this week. I have submitted my assignments on the date. Now i just need to prepare for the upcoming task soon. Debate,
MTC 088 and then the mid-term test. Tomorrow me and her will be going to watch eclipse. A friend of mine asked me " hey, what's the reason for you to go on a date with her? do you have an evil's mind on you head..haha.. or are you really gonna have some kind of a serious relationship with her, getting close to her?? Evil's mind? Of course no.. I'm not that kind of person. Serious relationship? i don't have an idea to answer. I do like her, but deep inside, truly i'm afraid to love her. Sometimes i felt like she does'nt have the same feeling towards me. As what i said earlier, speed of second her attitude could change. For me, girls are like mathematics. Each of them has their own formula to solve. But she is more likely uhh..chemistry i guess, an equation. I'm not good in solving equation. But i won't say give up until i solve the equation. Until now i still don't have the answer. Or maybe, it's too early for that answer. Because i believe for a serious and long lasting relationship, we need to know and understand each other's feeling. That's the point. Even we are meant to be together or not is not the point.The first step i should do is to understand and know her better. The first step leading to a formula for this type of girl. Yeah, i really like her..  I still remember this word, " if you eager to have something, you should be brave to bear the risk" This is what i'm doing. If i lose, i just need to get up back. I won't say it's not a big deal. But at  least i'll get an experience to fix myself and be better for the upcoming days. This is how i live.


out

Give up

Thursday midnight, the worst day ever for me this week. The night that ruined my mood. Waiting for the MUET's result is very horrifying and it's such a suffer to this mind, mentally broken down. If i got below of band 4, that absolutely means "bye-bye BLS". I wait until morning, 10.30 a.m, my mobile cast the spell. A message from MPM. "Don't hesitate, don't afraid, be cool and chill.. just accept what ever the result is", i told it to myself. As what i thought, Band 3. It's such a lie if i said I'm happy and not disappointed. I take a deep breath and hooo~ is this the end of the journey? Of course NO!  I have no reason to give up because i believe there's always another way for success. It just depends on our effort to search for it. It is just the beginning, what's the worth of my living if i give up at his stage. I will do what ever it takes, my ambition, my aspiration will never erase as long as this body and soul is not separated.

Hey Buddy

Bukan aku tak faham kau macam mana. Tapi aku dah banyak kali tolong kau. Aku tak nak biasakan diri aku tolong kau sebab nanti benda tu akan jadi beban bagi diri aku, macam kau tangungjawab aku. Sedangkan aku ada banyak lagi tanggungjawab yang penting bagi aku.. Secara tak langsung aku jadi tak ikhlas tolong kau. Kalau kau diam macam tu aku sangat tak suka. Kalau nak aku tolong..kau cuma perlu minta daripada aku. Tu jer yang aku harapkan. Aku tak suka bila kau diam dan mengharapkan orang akan tolong kau. Masa awal-awal kau buat macam tu aku rasa tak kisah sangat. Aku ikhlas tolong kau, sebab aku simpati dan bagi aku kau kawan aku. Tapi bila dah banyak kali sangat..kadang-kadang kau buat aku rasa tak senang hati. Pada masa yang sama aku tak nak biasakan diri aku tolong kau dengan cara macam ni. Aku cuma nak kau bersuara. Mungkin sekarang ni kau cakap aku tak berhati perut, tapi kalau kau baca ni aku harap kau faham aku macam mana... Jangan rendahkan diri kau dengan berdiam diri macam tu. Aku cukup tak suka, aku sendiri pun pernah mengalami benda yang sama. Tapi aku tak pernah menharapkan pertolongan orang dengan cara begitu. Lama-lama orang akan tak suka, dengan attitude macam tu. Itu yang pernah aku alami sendiri. Tolonglah faham kawan..

At last

I finished my outline. I'm happy because finally i found the suitable topic for my legal issue. Feel enjoyed to do this assignment. Thank you Allah for giving me such a good mood today and ease my task. I want to cover the mark that i had lost on term paper 1. Since last night until now i didn't sleep yet, together with Ako. I compete with him who will finish first. Not fair actually for a person like me who start just last night to compete with him who had started this term paper a week ago. I'm just finished doing the draft, he almost finish the essay! ha ha..
Never mind, the most important value is the essence of compete courage us to do the task. I put all of the effort on this task today, rare thing to do for a person like me. I cant hold any longer.. thought i should quit. Very, very sleepy, tired and dizzy.


out

Fly

             Yeay~ fly..memang tak ada kerja..Hee;D

Minta Maaf

Aku ada banyak benda yang aku perlu buat. Term paper 1 aku lewat hantar, baru harini hantar sedangkan classmate aku yang lain dah hantar minggu lepas. Aku sorang je yang tak hantar lagi. " i will minus your mark for this" ughh..DrJ tegas gila orangnya. Nampak je luaran macam boleh tolerate. Aku dah bagi macam2 alasan dah.. Awal2 memang stress juga dengar macam tu. Hemm, terpaksa terima,silap aku juga pergi ikut member aku minggu lepas. 3 hari missed class. 30% bukan sikit, minus 5% sebab lewat. Hasil kerja tak tahu lagi dapat berapa. Hoo~ Malam esok kena siapkan draft untuk legal punya dan aku tak ada idea lagi nak buat tajuk pasal apa. Dah 3hari tak tidur malam..term paper, Sir Farid boleh follow lagi. Economy?? aku bukak nota tak sampai 1minit tutup balik. TAK FAHAM. Semua bab2 nak kira pasal akaun aku dah tak ingat satu pun,GILA=p. Sir Shahril? banyak benda yang ak kena kejar balik, kalau tak nanti masuk kelas dia aku susah nak faham or mungkin tak faham apa-apa..haha Dah tak tension mana, tapi rasa serabut  tu still ada. Bila nak buat kerja ada orang ajak sembang lah.. Sembang pasal yang kelakar punya takpela jgk. Ni datang jew..mesti problem pasal awek lah, apalah, sumer mesti problem. Cerita yang meng"badmood"kan Aiyoo~ bukan aku tak nak dengar..... tapi aku tak ada mood n tak ada masa nak bual benda tu semua.. Problem aku sediri tak settle lagi mcmner aku nak dengar problem orang lain. Tadi pun rasa cam bersalah jugak, ada sorang hamba Alllah ni masuk bilik, memang aku dah tahu bila tengok muka dia,muka problem. Muram semacam.. dia tanya, aku jawab sepatah dua jer. Then dia keluar mcmtu je. Ermm..minta maaf sangat, tapi aku rasa malas nak bersembang n berbual. Priority aku sekarang, siapkan term paper 2, habiskan syllabus yang aku tertinggal kelas Sir Shahril n assignment yang dia bagi sekali, Sir Farid aku kena look up syllabus akan datang jew.. then bole relax sikit. Try to make a different and consistent life please? Retreat from sociality for a while. I need to be alone to fix myself.

The Rose

Sincerely I like her and maybe i love her. But really, she is like a rose. Pretty to see, nice to smell, but hurt to touch. I'm not the type of  person that will easily give up. Maybe I'm not the right person for her. I'm not giving up,but t's too foggy. When the times i feel i'm starting to know her better, speed of second her attitude changed. That's why i said she is hurt  to touch. Like tidal..  I have tried again and again.. By now, i felt tired.. i wonder why i should after the one that i already knew i will never have. Maybe i should give up, even i don't want to. No, not give up..just stop. Exactly, maybe there's no existence of "give up". The precise word is the strength to let it go. The guts of letting go. Maybe i should accept that I could'nt be the person she will ever like.. Thats would be better for me because i believe there will be a suitable person for me someday. HAHA...;D funny way of speak eh..;p Yeah, maybe life is short but the future is still far enough for me to have such feeling. I mean it should'nt be in my top list of priority now.=) I want to grab my aspiration, which path that i suppose to put the guts of never give up.


out

Hmmm

Mak, nak duit lebih nak beli baju aci op?? baju sume lusuh belake owh..haha.. padahal gurau jew,Alhamdulillah mak aku cam baik hati gila jer harini. Tahu jew masuk duit, lepas abes kelas aku naik bas pergi EC. JeeP, aku dah tengok baju tu minggu lepas, ughh..rase berkenan gila nak mati. Tapi Xcukup duit nak beli lol.. Minggu lepas member aku datang Kuantan, pergi Kedah,KL then balik Kuantan singgah EC. Usha Soda, Jeep, QuikSilver.. yang lain sume Touch&Buy, aku sorang jer Touch&Go..cis~! Dalam EC aku masa tengah usha baju yang aku nak beli ada pak cik dengan anak dia sorang. Tengok gaya bukan macam orang senang.. Anak dia merengek cam bayi nak mintak bapa dia belikan baju apa ntah.. Heeerr..wat malu je. walaupun dia pmpuan tapi da besa panjang adakah nampak comel bila buat macamtu, walaupun dia agak lawa? bagi aku tak. Aku kesian tengok pak cik tu.. Muka serba salah nak beli..mungkin xde duit kut..MACAM.. Hmm..Xtau kenapa, susah nak jelaskan lepas tengok drama tu tadi, niat aku nak beli baju terus mati. Aku keluar then pergi Big Apple. Beli 3biji tapi aku makan 2biji jer,xlarat nak abes semua. Tadi nampak macam sedap..tapi bila masuk mulut rasa muak. Bukak lap top konon buat kije pada asalnya, Kehkeh, on9 FB la kerja. Nasib baik ada amoi sorang lepak kat luar. Aku lupa nak minta password wi-fi masa kat dalam. Lepak jap dengan amoi tu, apa dia bebel entah..dahla pelat. "so hot today lol...u pakai baju hitam xlase panas kew?" HAha...amoi2, "Oh..yea ke..?" aku dengar je dia cakap. Tak sampai 10mnt sembang dia masuk balik smbung kije. Jarang jumpa cina sporting camtu. Erm, dah hilang minat kat baju tu..tak tahulah,rasa macam xberbaloi jek. Haihh~ Rasa serabut sekarang ni, xleh nak buat keja langsung. Ni semua FB punya pasal! Term paper aku sorang je lagi xhantar. Padahal tinggal draft n appendix je. Asal nak start je, " fb jap ar..." DEACTIVATE abes citer. Aman;D Term paper is my first priority;)

Datang dan Pergi

Minggu ni aku jumpa Sharon n Jamie, ex-classmate aku. Masa tu aku nak g makan kat arked, buka puasa dengan Cepul. Tengok meja diorang ramai sangat jadi niat aku nak tegur diorang dibatalkan. Kalau yang ramai-ramai lepak dekat meja tu semua aku kenal ak xrasa segan nak tegur. Lagipun Jamie n Sharon xperasan aku ada kat situ, xpela kot.. So, aku duduk meja dalam sekali dengan Gonjol n Intan. Jamie nak pergi bayar aku baru tegur, "Akmal!,hahaha.." tetiba jer Jamie kata aku sombong. Aiyo.. masuk Jamie tak tahulah dah berapa ramai orang yang kata aku sombong. Apa yang aku dah buat ha..? Mana ada aku sombong dengan diorang. Tapi Jamie n Sharon kira okay lagi, tegur cam biasa,cam dulu dari 2 orang hamba Allah yang aku kenal dulu. Selisih ngn diorang haritu terus kata aku sombong, padahal aku baru nak tegur. Budak sorang ni lantaklah dia nak cakap aku sombong ke apa, sebab perangai dia memang dari dulu menyakitkan hati aku. Aku tegur pun still kata aku sombong. Xtaula aku nak buat apa lagi. Tapi yang sorang lagi ni.. rasa cam terkilan lah juga. Dulu baik jer,nak gurau memang xde hal.  Hoo~ pagi semalam masa aku sarapan dengan ako aku nampak dia naik bas. Aku senyum niat nak tegur, tapi muka dia keras semacam je. Bila dia tengok Ako baru dia senyum. Sekali lagi " aku ada buat salah apa-apa ke....?" Hooo~ aku dah buat apa yang aku rasa aku patut buat. Stail aku kalau jumpa orang aku tengok dulu kalau dia dia perasan aku ke tak kalau xperasan xpelah xde orang nak amik aty kata xtegur ke apa.. Aku susah nak tegur member kalau dia lepak dengan orang yang aku xbiasa tegur atau xkenal. Tegur "hye" "hello" bole lagilah, tapi kalau nak ikut lepak sekali memang liat. Malas nak fikir benda yang xberapa penting. Kalau diorang terus nak wat masam muka dengan aku aku xkan masam muka or manis muka. Apa lagi yang boleh ak buat selain  buat xtahu.. Ada benarnya pepatah ni "people come and people go"  Cis, kenapa ada juga rasa terkilan ar? Dulu kawan sekarang dah nak jadi cam musuh, xpernah kenal pun. Benci gila feeling camni.. Sepatutnya aku xperlu kisah semua ni. Mungkin pepatah ni pun ad betul,when people love others they will become weaker..

Utilizer

Im doing the draft for my forum and it would be tomorrow. I've got bulk of points but I failed to properly elaborate them, EMPTY mind. Sigh~ Im not mentally comfortable for forum right now. I mean, im not mentally prepared. Yeah, this is one of my weakness that i've never been able to overcome. Its depends on my mood. If im in good mood, there will be no such trouble for me to talk, elaborate properly and confidently. Its indirectly as same as gravity, all it needs is just a little push. So right now,blogging is the answer, i guess.=p Hermm..peace, silent and calm. Ako is sitting beside me doing the same task as mine meanwhile, the toaster boy aka Cepul is laying down on my mattress..ZZzZzzZzz sleeping. Nice pose man..;D Thought pathetically i will sleep on the floor eh?haha. No.. i dont mind at all actually. Cepul is a good boy for me..bhahaha.. nevermind. Also right now, listening to Arctic Monkeys-Crying Lightning, hahaha.. lagu orang mabuk.  Okay, stop this   mumbling. Continue on task!

out

Mask

Maskman? the mask? No. Its just me. Once, i always thought of myself. " A guy who love to help people whether he'll be rewarded or not, its not the matter. H -E  -L -P, the desire was born  due to what he had past through before, but nobody came for. Struggle to death only for one reason, the true meaning of FRIEND.He hate to see others feel the same as what he felt. He aim for others smile,happiness.. friend? Thats the reason for him  to help people especially his friends. Tch~ so pathetic. But now ive realised, im not the person  i thought. Its worthless when you help others then they said something terrible about you.Im not that kind, not anymore. Its just a mask of Ahmad Fakhri Fauzi. Im sick of it. There are only one guy i called him a GOOD FRIEND, here in UiTM. The person whether im in the HELL or HEAVEN.